Racist much???

So the other day I was told I was racist because I didn't know there was a black guy in Maroon 5... the comment i got was "well that's really racist that you think a black man can't be in a band".... at that time i pointed out that i was just saying i didn't remember this black man in the band earlier from videos done around the song about jane album... and guess what?

                                                                        
Looked up some videos and there is NO black man! haha! Now i'm bringing this up as my wonderful Mother in law is the same person who told me this and i find this funny and sad at the same time as this woman the other day was telling my sister in law(who's black) how she went to past her childhood home and there were and i quote,"porch monkeys hanging out on her old porch".

Yes that's right the woman who called me racist said a racist comment to her black daughter in law(btw i'm so white i make snow look tan). Now after more then one or two people picked their jaws off the ground she explained that she herself would hang out on her porch as a child like the porch monkeys... i died laughing because she didn't get that she was being so racist and rude and we'd tried to move the conversation along to happy topics like her new granddaughter from my sister in law(that's right people she also said this in front of her part black granddaughter!!!)

It could be my mother in law grew up like Randal from "Clerks 2" but still she should know better!

 

 So just to be clear... NOT RACIST if you don't know a bandmate of a group is replaced with someone of a different race and you ask about.... calling people porch monkey on a mainly black side of town to your black daughter in law totally racist!

                                                                                                    

middle what!?!?

Just something a little funny about from a wonderful person showing everyone does things they want to pretend didn't happen.

did that baby just bark?

Babies are cute wonderful little pint size people right? Then answer me this why does my son at times look like a monkey(i love monkeys so still cool with me) and bark like a dog?

Really when he sneezes at times he barks! i would do a video but everytime i think he's going to do it he doesn't sneeze and really i have another child to chase around and she does enough to keep me from taping my son every second of everyday but my husband even asked me the other day about what set the dog off. My son sneezed and of course my dog thought we were being invaded by other dogs and she was out to protect us with her 12lbs self.

I hope my son's barking/sneezes stop before he gets in ya know preschool or at least around other kids who don't bark. I'll have a list of things he can hold over his sister's head to keep her from talking about his barking but i don't need world news now or whatever the rag mag is that always has "dog boy" on the cover because you may make fun of my little guy. granted most people would be totally jealous because I've got an awesome son who barks and looks like a monkey at times and has been on the cover of a magazine,even if it's only to call him dog/monkey boy. 

when Potty chairs attack

My daughter isn't potty trained just yet but we have her potty chair sitting out so she can get use to it and soon use it... My daughter also has an unusual relationship with our dog, at times she loves her and at times they get along like cats and dogs(heehee).

So the other day we're having a normal day with lots of playing and giggles. Not sure what made this happen but my wonderful sweet daughter went from sitting with our dog watching some PBS crap while cuddling to taking the bowl of the potty chair after the dog yelling "DIE!" while trying to hit her... not 5 minutes later they were back to cuddles on the couch.

Now i don't think my daughter has issues and really at 1st thought i dreamed it but the 5 cups of coffee i had before this all went down. My husband said he saw something like this happen  before but it was after our dog stole her cookie. So the lesson here is don't mess with her cookies i guess.

Popsicles gone bad

So my daughter is wonderful and awesome and all that jazz but some of her innocents reminds me of porn. Not that I go out thinking "Let's do something pornish!!" 1st thing in the morning... I mean come on that's something I totally think at the end of the day with my husband.

The latest being after she took a spill while trying to join the Muppets in the tv and bit her tongue pretty bad(it was a nasty bloody mess). To numb it/comfort her I gave her a popsicle because ice cubes she shares with the dog(each taking a lick and at times at the same time). She doesn't share popsicles but I'm sure if she did it would look like this(note not my dog so not my pic):

So she's still got the tears going on and yet is all smiles while going to town on this popsicle! Soon I see my daughter deep throat said popsicle. I look at her father and inform him we need to make sure she goes the way of becoming a nun or at least keep her away from any non-blood related male till she's at least 40. 

Now we just have to worry about her love for dancing and hope it doesn't lead to a pole but I would totally support her and help her get a KICK ASS stage name!

you can't be here

I have an odd mother in law(MIL). She drinks too much, smokes too much and can roll a joint pretty good or so I've been told(shhh she doesn't know i know). She also forgets things or say really rude and at times racist things.

when me and my husband were just dating i lived 160 miles away so we traveled A LOT. Well the 2nd time I travel up to see my hub's he was still working by the time i got to his parents house. My now MIL was letting the family dog out and getting ready for bed and was DRUNK! Now some may say i get drunk all the time to sleep but the difference here is, she didn't remember me.

Like at ALL!!! She kept telling me she didn't know me and I needed to leave before i woke her husband and got her dog barking. Then asked how i know the dogs name when i called him to stop barking to not wake her husband. Also i kept repeating,"i'm dating your son. he's about 10 minutes behind me."  She in turn told me her son isn't dating anyone. Way to feel awesome i know.

This is one of many adventure with my MIL in the past five years. I'm sure i'll share more later. like when we lived with them for my 6 week bootcamp into the family.

road trips

Grew up in a very boring part of the good ol' USofA, so for fun I did road trips with a friend. Thinking back to these road trips they weren't the best thought out(but we always brought panty hose in case a belt broke) or the safest thing to do. Many reasons for these but mainly because we traveled in costumes. we made themes of them. My favorite was our Pirate one as when we'd stop somewhere we'd talk like Priates. We taped the jolly roger to our car and set out. Please note eye patches not the best to see with while driving. Our most exciting was our Naked road trip. Yep NAKED... as in lose a piece of clothing every state line(we lived 40 miles from the 1st of many state lines).

Now this was exciting because my friend we'll call her BTS had a run in so to speak with a trucker. By run in a mean we were at a dead stop on an interstate and she had more then a little fun with said trucker, while both were driving. We crossed our 1st state line during this, so BTS lost her top and by the way it was just a bathing suit top as she wore that and a pair of tights. The trucker was so amazed that there were two girls in a car doing these things he had to get his buddy to check it out too. BTS teased by doing things like Licking her nipple, playing with my chest, acting like we were going to kiss and so on. This ended with the trucker standing in his seat and WAGGLING his penis for us!

Thank Jebus traffic was starting to move and we were able to lose them but not before we read the back on their Semi-trailer "If you've got'em flaunt them".